I miss my old house.

So, back in November, we were forced to move out of the house we THOUGHT was ours. We were under a land contract, but something went wrong & we had to move suddenly. We found a rental house within a week & moved right in. It was so sudden...I hated it. I hate moving anyway (doesnt everyone?), but this was even worse. That house was supposed to be ours. We had put time & money into it, we had gotten comfortable with our neighbors, the school district, everything. Its where we were gonna be. We were settled in.

All the time, I miss it. When Im doing laundry I miss it. At my old house, it was ONE story. The washer & dryer were in a little room off the living room. Everything was right there. In our 'new' house, we have TWO stories, plus a full basement & full attic. My washer & dryer is in the nasty basement. Then, I bring the clothes upstairs to the living room to fold, and THEN up the stairs to the second floor to deliver & put up all the clothes. Its good exercise, but I could do without it. I have SO much house to keep clean, and with me staying at home with Hannah, Max & Ruby, there's ALWAYS messes being made. It doesnt end. Its not humanly possible to keep every inch of my house clean, theres always something that isnt, so I just had to figure out how to prioritize. There are things I keep cleaner than others because its easier to do & its managable. Things like vaccuming hardly ever get done because Hannah screams & shakes with fear, and the dog barks nonstop until its over. I feel like my head is going to explode when I vaccum. I figured out if I carry the dog in my arm while vaccuming with the other arm, he doesnt yelp & carry on, but there's not any time where Hannah isnt home, so its so tough. I wish I could vacuum ALL the time, but its just not very possible.

On a brighter note, yesterday I did figure out that there are plenty of little cute birds here for me to feed. At the old house, one of my favorite things to do when I needed some air was take some bread outside, tear it into little pieces and feed the little birds that stayed close by. When we moved here, I was sad to leave my bird friends. I love birds, I think they are super cute. But yesterday, I was bundled up like an eskimo so I could go outside & smoke in the 16 degree weather, and I noticed the neighbor's little tree/bush (whatever it is) and noticed the birds that like to stay on it. I got a little happy, knowing I could come back out & feed the birds if I wanted to. It was a little shred of hope.

I just miss having half the house to clean. I miss being on one floor (for the most part). Well, that reminded me that there IS another thing I like about here. The kids can go to bed upstairs, and we are downstairs & dont have to tiptoe around. Ive always wanted to be able to do that.

I dont know. Its bittersweet, leaving my house. After our lease is up here, I want to be able to buy a house close to where we DID live. Its where I want to be.