Dont mind the picture. This is what I found when I came downstairs after putting the kids to bed. I guess Hailey put a naked baby on my cup of water. I can just see her goofy face when she is doing things like this...it makes me smile.
Tonight, I played in Haileys room with the girls & it was the happiest I have felt in a long time. Hailey goofed off, dressed in silly outfits, acted like her bizzare, random self & sang Demi Lovato for me. It was beautiful. She is very shy about singing, and Im pretty much the only person she will really sing in front of, but it was such a beautiful thing to hear I started to cry. Of course she ran over to give me a hug, not knowing what was wrong with me, but I just held her & told her how much I missed her. 'You miss me??' she asked. I told her I miss my little girl I could play with & have fun with, and didnt have to fight with all day. She made a sad face...she knew what I was talking about. She said 'I'll try to be better'.
Just seeing her have fun, and being able to completely enjoy time with her was exactly what I needed. Watching her do her little dance moves & sing for me was breath taking, and I felt just as much love for her as I ever have at any point in time. It was amazing. As my eyes filled with tears, I knew what we needed. We need more time together. Just the two of us...not doing anything special, just being together without so many interruptions. I think it all comes down to her not having her mommy like she used to, just like I dont have my old Hailey. We both still need to adjust.
After I put Hannah to bed, I sat on the couch & snuggled my big girl, watching Hannah Montana, and we vowed to make more time for each other. I read her favorite Olivia book to her before I put her to bed, and I felt so consumed with love just kissing her on the head & telling her I loved her.
She is going to go through phases. She is going to have her days, as am I, but she will always be my baby. Nothing can break us.
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