Acceptance.

The more time that goes on, even though its still only been a little over a week, the more I start to understand things. When my emotions start to calm down, I can think rational again, and I start to realize how much of my own fault all this actually is. Sure, he is the one who left me, but the problems we have had over the last 5 years were far from his fault. No, he wasnt perfect, no one is...but SO many of our issues stemmed from ME. Its hard to accept that, but its the truth. I am starting to think clearly now that Im just accepting what has happened, and its helping me to understand how much of my fault all of this is. I should have done SO many things differently. I never should have taken him for granted. He loved me, so much, and was so dedicated to me. I messed things up over & over, and although its hard for me to admit, its true.

This is just another step in me learing to cope with this, and its good for me.

Maybe I will be better with the next one...whenever that will be, one day far away.